- Mavaza responds to a cruel man who blames Zimbabwe for failure to control his manhood.
By Dr Masimba Mavaza
The social media was awash with a rebuttal written by one Dannmore Sithole of Croydon who claims to be an MDC A activist in the UK.
Dannmore Sithole a man who has ditched his wife who brought him to the UK and is known for his physical abuse of the weaker gender and the master heart breaker of many women in his church blames Gukurahundi and ZANU PF for the way he treated his wife and several women infecting them with a deadly sexual disease.
Many Zimbabweans in diaspora have experienced mental breakdown which has resulted in messy divorces and spousal murders.
AN estimated 79 percent of Zimbabweans abroad’s marriages experience at least one episode of infidelity.
Studies show more men than women cheat, but they often do it for the same reasons. While infidelity is a factor in many divorces, half of marriages survive an extramarital affairs.
A discussion on what drives people to cheat and how infidelity can affect children and the whole family is a hot potato. Infidelity abroad is equally spread between husbands and wives.
Even though men are culprits in Zimbabwe and women are log leaders abroad, it is difficult to spot a partner prone to infidelity.
If he’s unhappy with his wife, he’ll cheat, right?
Cheating is caused by a lot of reasons but the most prevalent ones are the cultural change and the working pattern in the Diaspora. The economic strength which has tilted towards women has seen men ridiculed to an extent of becoming impotent.
By the time they crawl to their bedrooms, their egos would be battered and bruised if not totally destroyed.
They no longer have the strength to rise to the occasion and they are rendered useless. The stresses of the bills and the insults they get because their salaries are less than those of their spouses make it difficult for them to satisfy their partners.
Women then ditch their Zimbabwean men for West Africans who claim to be good in bed. They choose to look after those men than to look after their husbands. This becomes a breeding point for infidelity.
It is not only women who cheat. Men do cheat out of frustration. Of course there are some demon-possessed idiots who cheat even if they are getting everything at home.
Danmore Sithole who is a Project Coordinator at OPAM Common Purpose South Croydon, England, United Kingdom is an elder in the Church and appears to be highly spiritual.
He arrived in the UK around 2009 to join his wife who was already working in the UK.
On arrival in the UK Danmore was excited by the bright lightning faces of the British ladies. He started having fleeting moments with multiple laddies. His wife quickly picked up the scent and found out that her dear husband was finding comfort elsewhere.
Danmore Sithole’s wife was devastated she tried to reason with him but Dannmore went on to show his stubborn side. He started spreading falsehoods and malicious rumours about his wife. The wife got enough of this Zimbabwean man in England. She called it quits to protect her sanity and her children.
She removed Dannmore from her visa and Dannmore Sithole became an illegal immigrant.
In order to get a visa in the UK Dannmore Sithole became active in the MDC and claimed asylum on the basis that his life was in danger in Zimbabwe. That ZANU PF wants to kill him. He even went on to say that his parents were killed by war veterans and that he himself is a victim of political violence in Zimbabwe.
In order to support his claim Dannmore picked on lawyers who were aligned to ZANU PF and spread malicious messages about them so that he could go to the home office and claim that he can not be assisted as the lawyer he met at church was a CIO operative.
Dannmore Sithole was later granted asylum and with his infidelity he graced the Zimbabwean High Commission every Saturday creating a fake demonstration vilifying Zimbabwe and soiling his country for his selfish reasons just to get a visa.
As we write Dannmore Sithole has survived ten break ups with ladies and now living with another victim.
In his defence Dannmore Sithole blames Zimbabwe and ZANU PF he even blames lawyers he targeted for being ZANU PF activists in the UK. There are many Zimbabwean male prostitutes like Dannmore Sithole who are crushing the the hearts if innocent women and blame Zimbabwe for that.
Despite the charlatans like Dannmore Sithole there are some mischievous men who still love their wives despite cheating.
It is a fact that most men still love their wives even when they cheat.
They just cheat to boost their confidence because their wives are ridiculing them.
Men who cheat haven’t fallen out of love; they’ve become unsatisfied with the current state of it.
“Cheating usually occurs in the phase of companionate love, when couples begin to settle down, have kids and solidify the life being built together,” says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD.
While they’re fulfilled in some areas, like being a provider, the romance may be missing.
“We more often think of women complaining about a lack of romance, but men feel it, too”.
They frequently suffer in silence, believing they can’t get what they want from their spouses.
Cheats don’t generally pick up random women in bars. They normally cheat with childhood or their wives’ friends. The relationships usually begin with friendships.
In fact, more than 60 percent of affairs start at work, or at church according to Focus on the Family. Husbands feel more unconnected to their partners and more connected to business partners or friends.
Spouses miss foreplay and time for cuddling.
Bedrooms are turned to courtrooms and budget delivery houses.
Women get married to their jobs, compete on fashion, splash their pay cheques and forget their marriages.
As a result of this, frustrated men cheat to save their marriages. Men love their spouses, but they don’t know how to fix their relationship problems, so they go outside their marriages to plug any holes.
Men want it all and have the skewed notion that another woman would make the longing for something more disappear.
Then, they can live happily ever after with their wives — and their mistress — without confronting the real issues. This has fuelled cheating by men.
They try to deal with romantic chaos by creating a chaotic situation. In most cases men hate themselves after these affairs.
You may think of cheats as men without morals, but while they may like what they do, they tend to despise themselves after their indiscretions. Women make the fatal mistake of believing that men cannot go anywhere until they are gone.
It should be noted that women cheat just as much as men, and their affairs are more dangerous. They cheat with impunity and the husbands are the last to know. It is true that a wife often knows her husband’s cheating but the husband takes long to realise the cheating wife.
So the key is prevention.The fact that we are far away from home removes shame from the couples. They are not answerable to society, so marriages become vulnerable.
Without external help, marriages become endangered. Diaspora is horrified by cowards men like Dannmore Sithole who can not control their little man below the waist and blame women for it. It’s even worse when these unfaithful Sithole’s beat their deceitful drums cheating the world as they cheat their women.
Next week we will discuss the Diaspora men who congregate at the Zimbabwe High Commission blaming Zimbabwe for the breaking of their marriages.